A few hours into his two-day trip to Israel, President Sunkist McDipsydoodle paid an historic visit to Jerusalem’s Wailing Wall – a sacred site where Jews flock to pray and cry. Ironically, as soon as the president leaned in to open his mouth, it was the wall that burst into a fit of ungovernable tears.

Trump is the first sitting US president to pay the site a visit. The wall had no comment and was last seen locking itself in the bathroom in a state of hyperventilation, muttering, “I would have even preferred that vantz Nixon! Oy Vey!”

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu greeted Trump at the airport with open arms, despite the recent report that the president shared Israeli classified intelligence with Russia.

Speaking at the airport, Trump said he was there “to reaffirm the unbreakable bond between the United States and the state of Israel,”

Adding, “We have before us a rare opportunity to bring security and stability and peace to this region and to its people.”

An unconfirmed source claims that after Trumps speech, he overheard the Israeli Prime Minister say to a fellow official standing nearby, “Whaddya gonna do? He’s a shmuck, but he’s at least he’s our shmuck!”

The Z Review reiterates that this source is unconfirmed.


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